In the laws of attraction it is true what they say... "Opposites Attract"  Jarryd and I are definitely proof of this in so...

I cannot believe Liv is already two months old! Time is just flying by! Look how much she has changed from just one month ago... ...

In the summer of 2007 I had the amazing opportunity to travel to Africa to share the love of Christ with the AIDS orphans of Zambia. I wrote in my journal everyday so that I would not forget all the amazing things that God did while I was there. During this time God spoke to my heart on a much deeper level than He ever has before. I committed to giving these children everything I had; physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In order to do that I had to finally learn what it meant to rely on God to make it through the day. Reading His word and writing in my journal were a vital necessity and actual nourishment to my body. I would not have made it through the day without having that time with God. The words that I wrote in my journal are very personal and precious to me. 

6/29/07

“For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; and to the other, the fragrance of life.” 2 Corinthians 2:15-16

Today was our last day at Camp Life and it was so bittersweet. I was so sad to see my children go, especially knowing the extreme poverty and abuse that they go home to. However, I was comforted in knowing that they now have the love of Christ in their hearts. We all got in a circle and wrapped our arms around each other as I said a final prayer over them. I prayed that God would continue to bless their lives and praised Him for the joy that they had brought into mine. I cried as I hugged and kissed them all and reluctantly put them on the bus. Their arms reached out at me from the windows as the bus began to drive away and I touched some of their hands until I could no longer reach. It was one of the most emotional experiences of my life and a moment that I will never forget.

The transformation that has occurred in their lives this week is beyond all imagination and understanding. The girls that I had at the beginning of the week were not the same girls that I just put on that bus. They came to me broken and abused with very little joy in their hearts. They now have a light that shines from within them for all the world to see. They no longer have to live their lives in fear because they are more than conquerors in Christ. They have received the power of the Holy Spirit and no longer have to face this world alone. They can declare the name of Jesus when facing evil and be victorious over all adversities that come their way. They can wake up everyday knowing that they are loved by an almighty God who will never leave them or forsake them. The abuse that they suffer at home will no longer consume or define their lives. They will not feel the sting as a hand slaps their precious faces or feel the pain as words of hate pierce their beautiful hearts. They have been set free from the chains that have been holding them prisoner for as long as they can remember. I feel so blessed to have been apart of this spiritual journey and praise the Lord for allowing me to be His hands and feet in Africa.

I poured out every ounce of my heart and soul into these children until every last drop was gone. The Lord has allowed me to share in their pain so that I may get a glimpse of the sadness that He feels when He thinks of these orphans. I know He weeps for them constantly and His heart for them is so big. I prayed for the Father’s heart for these children on the first day of camp and He graciously granted it to me. This is why I am able to experience the same things that He feels and the emotion that I have received as a result of that prayer is indescribable. I have cried tears of deep sorrow and tears of overwhelming joy throughout this week. My eyes have also been opened to the spiritual warfare that we as Christians have to face on a daily basis. This war is not as obvious in America but it is extremely evident here in Africa. This whole country is saturated with darkness but the children that go through this camp are becoming a light shining God’s love down on Zambia. I will never stop praying for this country for I know the battle has just begun.

Saying goodbye to Charity, my Zambian interpreter was so hard. We are two completely different people, with two completely different lives, who only have the love of Christ as a common thread. We have learned so much from each other this week and she has forever changed my life. Together we were a powerful team who brought the truth and light into 14 beautiful little girls. I am a better person because God has blessed me with her life. She has absolutely nothing but the Lord in her heart and a smile on her face which is all she needs. Her love for God, despite the hard life that she has had, is so humbling to me and a powerful testimony that God’s love is ENOUGH to sustain us! He is ALL we need!

My favorite part of today was at the end when all of the American counselors that were leaving were told to go to the middle of the room. We were then surrounded by the remaining Americans and all the Zambians. They then sang the MOST beautiful song that I have ever heard over us. It brought tears to my eyes. The songs here in Africa have so much power and are sung with the deepest passion for God. Then our Zambian pastor said a prayer over us which was the most compelling prayer that I have ever heard. As his words rolled off his tongue they poured directly into my soul and filled my heart with joy. I have never felt closer to God than I did on this day!

In the summer of 2007 I had the amazing opportunity to travel to Africa to share the love of Christ with the AIDS orphans of Zambia. I w...

This was a letter that I wrote in May 2007 describing how the Lord called me to a mission trip in Zambia...

Those of you who know me….. know the AMAZING things the Lord has been teaching me this semester and have seen the miraculous ways He has changed my life. Looking back on my spiritual journey over the past two years, words cannot describe the astonishing love and peace I have experienced through coming to know Jesus Christ, the author and perfecter of my faith. The past year has been a HUGE time of spiritual growth as I have learned to trust in Him and Him alone. Every time I take a step of faith and fix my eyes on Jesus, I am blown away by the beautiful way He proves His faithfulness to me. Each time I am obedient to His calling I am blessed BEYOND belief and as I draw closer to Him I am being transformed into a more Godly woman everyday.

The Lord has been burdening my heart for Africa since the beginning of the year. Everywhere I would go He would constantly be showing me Africa and the AIDS orphans of Zambia in particular. Being in Aggie Sisters for Christ I got the privilege of hearing multiple testimonies of girls who have traveled to Zambia and their stories would bring tears to my eyes. I can’t explain how strong my desire became after that but that desire would instantly be hindered by doubt and discouragement. All year long I have felt this calling to be a missionary but would immediately push it out of my mind as soon as it would come. “No God…. Surely that is not my calling.” I would tell myself over and over again, consistently ignoring all the clear signs the Lord was giving me. It’s too far, TOO expensive, I am a new believer… how could I possibly make a difference?

Time went by and slowly the deadline for the $3900 for the trip had passed, but not a day would go by that I would not think about Africa. My aspiration to go only grew stronger after that point and the thought of waiting a whole year until I could go was almost unbearable. In April I joined a new Hope Group through my church and when I walked into the house where our group would meet for the rest of the semester I was shocked! The home was filled with African artifacts and pictures from missionary work in Zambia. Two of the girls who lived in the home both went to Zambia through the same missionary company I had been looking into. 

Great! I thought to myself… how can I meet in this place every week and not be overwhelmed with regret of my disobedience? 

Over the next couple of weeks I began to express my inconceivable longing to go to Africa. Little did I know… that one of the girls worked for the company (Family Legacy Missions) and said that she could make it possible for me to go if I raised the money in two weeks. Even after all this… I still was not convinced, how could that even be possible? 

Later that week at church our pastor called for anyone thinking about going on missions to come up to the altar to be prayed over. As if I needed anymore of a clear answer as to whether or not I should go, I went to the front and got on my knees in prayer. “Lord if it be your will please CLEARLY show me if I am to go… and I will!” I prayed this over and over again as I felt multiple hands on my back praying over me. I was immediately broken and as the tears streamed down my face I was able to accept what I already knew all along… I was to go to Africa! After the service a friend of mine (Who had no idea I had a desire to go to Africa) came up to me and told me, “You need to go!” The look on my face must have been priceless, “What are you talking about?” I asked him. He said that throughout the service the Lord had burdened his heart to tell me to go even though he had no idea what this meant. 

I was blown away!!! Could this be anymore CLEAR? 

I immediately called Family Legacy Missions and told them to sign me up and that I would have the money as soon as I could. (Not having any idea how that was going to happen) When I got home my friend, who had told me to go, called me and asked what it was that God was calling me to do. I told him all about Africa and how I had committed to go but that I was unsure of how I could raise that amount of money in such a short period of time.

Ok…. Here is the really good part!

He then shared with me that his family supports missionaries and that he would love to support my trip. He told me to raise what I could and that they would fund the rest! WOW!!! Within one hour of fully submitting to the Lord’s calling for me, He had already provided the means to go. Before we got off the phone we prayed for the Lord’s provision over the next couple of days. By the time I hung up the phone my room was covered with Kleenex tissues. I then felt a note in my back pocket that one of my friends had given to me at church. I opened it up and began to cry even more as I read the words on the page and as a $100 check for Africa fell into my lap. She told me in the letter that God had laid it on her heart during the service to help me get to Africa. (She knew that I had wanted to go… but had NO CLUE that I had already committed to it) Within one minute of hanging up the phone and praying for the Lord’s provision, God had already put $100 in my pocket. By the end of the night, after sharing the day’s events with my Hope Group, I had raised almost $1000!!! And the rest is history!!

Looking back on the way everything happened I am still in disbelief! The trip is officially booked, the vaccines have been painfully administered, and the passport is in! (After waiting 11 hours in line) All I need now are your prayers! I leave on June 21st and will return July 1st. During this time and the few weeks leading up to the trip I am asking all of my friends and family to pray for me. I need prayers for preparation and prayers that God will use me in unbelievable ways while I’m there. Please pray that my words will not be my own but that the Lord will speak through me to further His kingdom so that He may get all the glory. We will be sharing the message and hope of Jesus Christ with the orphans of Zambia and so prayer is also needed for their salvation. Finally, please pray for my family… they have been extremely supportive throughout this whole process but are very nervous for me to be traveling halfway across the world.

I hope that this testimony is proof of how BIG our God really is! Never underestimate the power that He possesses for He can do mighty things in your life if you just fully submit to His will. Nothing is impossible through Christ and through Him alone all things are attainable. Thank you so much for your love, support, and continuous prayer!

In Him always,

Jessica Lynn Elton

♥ “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ~1 Thessalonians 5:16

♥ “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.” ~James 1:27

♥ “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

~Hebrews 11:1

♥ “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’” ~Matthew 19:14

A picture from Africa. One of my girls just got a new pair of shoes and I am praying over her in them!

This was a letter that I wrote in May 2007 describing how the Lord called me to a mission trip in Zambia... Those of you who know me...

This was a note that I wrote about our struggles with getting pregnant and our second miscarriage. I wrote this in December 2010...

Many of you walked through the painful trial of our first miscarriage that Jarryd and I experienced this time last year. It was a beautiful tragedy… tragic in the loss of our first unborn child… but the beauty was in God’s unfailing and sustaining grace. His hand was upon us and we know that He was glorified through our pain and our constant praise of His beautiful name despite our suffering.

Jarryd and I began seeking God’s face at the end of last year on His timing for pregnancy again. In our prayer and devotion time, God was overwhelmingly clear… Now was the time to start again! After we had given my body time to heal we began the process of trying once more. I thought this would be the easy part but after several months of trying with no luck I was beginning to get discouraged. I began to have plaguing thoughts: “Was something wrong with me? Will I ever be able to have children?” Month after month we would get our hopes up only to be let down with a negative sign on a pregnancy test. Looking back now I realize that I completely stopped trusting in God and made becoming a mom ultimate. God was no longer enough for me and Satan began to have a field day with my weak faith.

After the miscarriage it was as if the world exploded with pregnancy all over the place! I couldn’t escape the baby bumps that began to invade my world everywhere I turned. Every TV show all of the sudden had one of their major characters get pregnant, several of my friends announced they were expecting, even my favorite evening news anchor announced her joyful news of pregnancy. There were so many days that I would actually say out loud to myself “SERIOUSLY?” as another pregnancy related thing would enter my life. It was consuming my thoughts and robbing me of my joy.

Only to add to this torment…

 For the second spring in a row a beautiful bird laid her eggs outside our door. It was always so exciting to watch the process of the baby birds hatching and then learning to fly. This spring something different happened… one of the eggs didn’t hatch. One by one all the baby birds learned to fly and left their nest.  Eventually all that was left was the one lone egg that was unable to produce life. Every time I would leave, that egg would haunt me as a constant reminder of our loss… It still sits outside our door today. I was beginning to think I was losing it… it was one thing to get upset about pregnancy related things… but an egg? Something had to change!

Somewhere along the way I had missed the point all together and found myself worshiping a baby bump idol that was putting a diaper bag sized wedge in between God and I.

After nearly 9 months of trying and no positive sign on any tests I finally came face to face with my sin. Getting pregnant had taken away my first Love…. The Author of every pregnancy on this planet! I finally got to the place where I surrendered everything to God and relinquished all control. “God you are enough for me… even if I never have a child… I have you… and that is MORE than enough!” The freedom that I experienced after this point was incredible! God was in control… not me… what a genius idea… why didn’t I think of this sooner?

I know you have already guessed what happens next… the following month we got pregnant again! This August we found out that we would be expecting a beautiful baby due the end of April 2011. This news should have made us elated; however, I found myself being extremely guarded with my joy and excitement. It was almost as if I didn’t really believe it was real… and IF it was real… I didn’t believe it would last. I found myself being paranoid of losing this pregnancy too. I was overly cautious with everything that I ate, making sure that I was taking my prenatal vitamins regularly, etc. Jarryd and I decided to keep this pregnancy in the vault until we were out of the first trimester and we were more confident that we would carry to full term.

I’ll never forget the first doctor appointment in September… We were both terrified. I was trembling as they were doing the sonogram, reliving the last sonogram experience in which we found out that our baby had no heartbeat. I realized that I wasn’t breathing when we heard the most beautiful sound in the world… our child’s heartbeat… and I finally gasped for my first breath of air in what had to be a minute. Tears filled our eyes and for the first time in this pregnancy I allowed myself to accept it! I finally began to bond, plan, and dream of what my child would be like. While most expecting moms dread the nauseating morning sickness (which actually is an all day event), I was overwhelmed with joy with every run to the bathroom and with every food aversion… this only confirmed that things were progressing and that everything was fine. I reveled in the fact that I could no longer button my pants and that I was finally getting that baby bump that had once been my idol.

In October, around our 11th week that joy turned into fear as the nausea and sickness came to an abrupt halt. All of the sudden I felt normal again… and this terrified me! Jarryd was sold from day one that this pregnancy would be normal and tried affirming in me that I had nothing to worry about. Family and friends who knew we were pregnant told me I was just being paranoid and that everything was fine.

But I knew that everything was not fine…

I started to have sharp cramping which only confirmed my fears… we called the doctor immediately and got into see her. When we arrived the doctor and nurse were so calm and tried to put my mind at ease as best they could. However, I was not going to hear a word they said until I heard the heartbeat. They put the device on my stomach and prodded around with no sound… just static. After 10 minutes of pure torture… after both the nurse and doctor failed to hear a heartbeat they decided to do a sonogram but told me still to not worry. They stepped out to get the machine and I tried to avoid eye contact with Jarryd so that I wouldn’t lose it. It didn’t work… as soon as our eyes met and we saw the pain and fear within them we both began to cry. My wonderful husband wrapped his arms around me and amidst the sobbing he said a prayer to God asking Him to comfort us in the news that we knew we were about to hear.

We never thought we would ever experience a miscarriage, and never in a million years did we ever think that we would experience two. The sonogram confirmed what I had known all along… our unborn child was no longer living. If possible this news was even harder and more painful this time. In addition, because we were so far along we were told that I would have to have a D&C procedure because passing the baby naturally would be too dangerous on my body. We scheduled the surgery for the following day and left the doctor’s office overwhelmed with pain.

The thought of surgery terrified me but the thought of someone taking my child away from me terrified me even more. The rest of the day was a blur… numbness, anger, pain, fear, sadness were just some of the emotions we were experiencing. Calling our parents, and for the second time in a year having to tell them that they won’t be grandparents just yet, was so hard. Jarryd and I are blessed with such amazing parents… all of them offered to drop everything to come to Fort Worth to take care of us.

The morning of the surgery I was sick to my stomach. I stared at the clock and begged it to stop moving so fast, but the next thing I know I am crying and saying goodbye to Jarryd and my mom as they take me back to the pre-op room. Now all alone I was filled with even more fear and sadness… I couldn’t stop crying. I began to pray… “Father comfort me during this time, strengthen me, hold me through this, please give me a peace about this, comfort me God.” Almost immediately after I began praying I was interrupted by my anesthesiologist who was coming over to introduce herself to me and answer any of my questions. I didn’t have any words for her… I just nodded my head yes or no to her questions. She was looking at my chart and then all of the sudden she looked surprised and looked up at me.

“Is your husband Jarryd Foreman?”

I was very confused to say the least… and as I nodded my head yes I watched as her eyes welled up with tears. She went on to tell me that her and her family had just joined our church in Aledo and that they had just gone through the new members class where they were able to hear my husband speak. No one in our church even knew that we were pregnant and she was so broken that she was meeting me for the first time under these circumstances. She held my hand and said how much she loved Jarryd and I… she also shared her own personal experience with miscarriage and it brought so much comfort to me.

I couldn’t believe it… I was overcome with tears of joy for the first time in two days. I was laying there praying for God to comfort me and at that very moment I meet a sister in Christ who was a part of my church family. What are the odds that of all the anesthesiologists in Fort Worth I would have her? A member of my church 20 minutes west of Fort Worth… who was able to comfort me in a way that only God can! Those aren’t odds… that’s the awesome God I serve… at work!!

From that moment on all of my fear was gone! I had the peace and comfort that I had been asking for! God was so gracious and merciful to me… words can’t describe how much more I fell in love with Him.

The procedure was over before I knew it… recovery was painful and slow but the emotional healing and recovery had begun. Jarryd and I got to see God’s hand at work in the midst of our suffering. We were drawn closer to Him and to each other through this trial and though it was hard we are grateful for it. We thank God that He counted us worthy to experience such pain that only made our relationship with Him sweeter. And that is worth more than anything to us!

Nothing could have ever prepared us for two miscarriages in the course of a year… but one thing is for sure… God was there… He never left us. Through this process I have been able to hear from dozens upon dozens of people who have come forward to share their personal experience with miscarriage. It has blown us away how common this is. Thank you to all of you who have cried with us, prayed for us, fed us, sent us flowers, cards, messages on facebook and email, etc. God has really shown us how loved we really are by our friends and family and what an incredible church body we are a part of. We didn’t have the $2,000 to pay for all the medical expenses of the procedure and a church member paid the bill without hesitation and without listening to our persistent cry not to. ;) I could go on and on of all the beauty and good that has come out of our pain. This has become a part of our testimony that we will use to point people toward Jesus.

As of right now we have a peace about not trying for a while and I have no fear that God will bless us with a child someday! I am fully trusting Him and His timing for when and how that will happen this time. I am grateful for more time to get to know and love my amazing husband! I am excited about what God has in store for us in 2011.

Jarryd and I still have our ups and downs when it comes to grieving the loss of our two unborn children. For instance, God has laid it on my heart for a while now to write this post but I have been avoiding it like the plague. Then this morning as I went to my favorite Starbucks (Hulen and Bellaire is the BEST!!) I was greeted by the manager who had just announced that he and his wife are expecting their first child. I am so excited and happy for them! However, when talking about the news with him I started to get kind of emotional and got so frazzled that I walked away from the conversation without even paying for my coffee. I am a Starbucks thief! They are going to hang my picture up on their bulletin board: “Wanted: Girl who is a conversational wizard and will conveniently walk away without paying!” I later called the store to apologize for stealing and asked if I could pay for two next time. They laughed at me and told me not to worry about it! Paul if you are reading this…Thanks! Baristas are always the first to know that you’re pregnant because you switch to decaf and that is a huge red flag! The baristas at that Starbucks have been so good to Jarryd and I… they even got us a gift card and a sweet get well card after all this happened! Seriously… go give them business!

Needless to say I got home and decided to finally write this!

I say all this to ask for your continued prayer and to thank you all for your love and support! If you have written me the last time and I never wrote you back I am so sorry… I’m horrible at correspondence but your words have meant the world to Jarryd and I. Also please please don’t be afraid to talk to us about all this! We are doing so much better and are very comfortable talking about what has happened! Also we got some answers this time as to what might be the problem… the doctors think that I may have a progesterone issue and that the next time we get pregnant they will just monitor my blood more closely! Again thank you all for everything! We love you all so much!

In His Beautiful Name,

Jessica

This was a note that I wrote about our struggles with getting pregnant and our second miscarriage. I wrote this in December 2010... ...

This was a note that I wrote after our first miscarriage we had in October 2009. I wrote this in January 2010... First of all I want...

This was a pic of our first walk with Liv in her city mini stroller. Our car seat is Peg Perego.

Here are a few more of my favorites! 1. Baby Jogger City Mini Stroller   This stroller is amazing! We bought an extra attachm...

4. Wubbanub  I love this product! Liv already loved the Avent Soothie Pacifiers which is what comes attached to the Wubbanub. It helps keep the paci in her mouth and she already loves to hug her froggy while she sucks on the paci. They are harder to find in stores because they sell out fast. Liv has the frog but they also come in several other animals.

Liv and her Wubbanub!

5. The First Year's Infant to Toddler Tub with Sling  This makes giving a bath to a newborn a lot less scary. The sling acts like a hammock for them and is adjustable so you can have them suspended in the water or lifted above the water.

Here is Liv in her sling... she is not the biggest fan of bath time yet but it definitely helps her sleep at night if she gets one!

6. Cloud b Sleep Sheep Four Soothing Sounds from Nature  This is a lifesaver!!! It is a noise maker that can hang anywhere, Liv's is hanging on her rock'n play sleeper. It helps to drown out all those unavoidable noises that inconveniently happen during nap time (like the dog barking). Liv has slept much better since we started using it!

I have only been a mommy for 2 months now but there are already several products that I don't know how I would live without!  ...

Liv's shabby chic nursery!

Liv's memory board... it's from Hobby Lobby. I wanted everything in her nursery to have meaning and sentiment. I have filled her board with pictures and love notes from special people in her life!

Notes from her mommy and daddy!

Empty frame with cute paper in it, then use dry erase marker for any message you want!

This dresser is one of my favorite pieces. It's from Ashley Furniture!

My amazing husband built this! We got the idea from Pinterest, it was so easy. Here is the link to it: Pinterest bookshelves!

My two best friends made this with fabric and steam a seam light.

My mom made this for her door... it turned out so cute! Everything is from Hobby Lobby!

 

Flowers and vase are from Pottery Barn!

The netting above her crib was actually purchased from Lowes! It was only $30!

The most comfortable glider EVER! We got it from Buy Buy Baby. They are usually $900 but we got ours for only $400 by buying the floor model... Who knew you could even do that!?

Here is my other child Brinkley... possibly the most photogenic dog ever! He loves to pose for any and all pictures!

A close-up for you!

Liv's shabby chic nursery! Liv's memory board... it's from Hobby Lobby. I wanted everything in her nursery to have meani...