Jess Foreman: Liv

Showing posts with label Liv. Show all posts

at 2/11/2016

Nothing could prepare me for the emotional Mommy Meltdown that just took place in the middle of the little girl's section at Target today. I wish you could have been there to see it... or better yet... to give me a hug.

For weeks now I have been eying this mysterious "little girl's section" of the store, a section I never venture into because I'm a mom of two littles who proudly rock the "baby/toddler section" outfits like pros. This section might as well be called the "big girl section" to me because it's a place that I will be years down the road... you know... when Liv becomes a big kid?!

What has caught my eye lately though, is how eerily close in size the outfits seem to be looking to what my Liv would wear.

Then today... I was enlightened

Like a magnet I was drawn to this adorable dress in "that" section. I looked at the size benignly labeled XS but it was what was next to the XS that brought grief to my heart and sent the tears trickling down my face.

XS (4-5 years)

Liv will be 4 in less than two weeks.

Wait a minute... I can buy something from this section that will fit a child of mine?!?

I was NOT prepared for this! I have been pretty open about how I feel that Liv turning 4 sounds so much older than 3... but a clothing section CHANGE in our favorite store only solidifies my suspicions.

My little Liv Monroe is turning into a little girl.

Mortified at my uncontrollable emotion I headed over to my old stomping grounds (the baby/toddler section) seeking some solace from the storm only to find my tears turn into sobs as I looked at all the teeny tiny outfits with affectionate sizing ending in a capital letter T. Sizing that until only moments ago was all I knew.

The embarrassment of my very public displays of emotion was only further validated when a very cautious Target employee graciously (and probably with some trepidation) asked me if I needed help.

Yes I need help!!! I need someone to tell me when this happened?! Where was I when my baby got so big?! Why did no one warn me of this?!

But suspecting that this answer was probably more than he asked for... I politely responded (through tears and snot) with a "No, thank you... I'm just looking."

Just looking for where the last 4 years have gone?! I thought to myself as the worker ran (not walked) off...

I finally pulled myself together by talking to my Heavenly Father.

Silently... I didn't want people to think I was crazy or something.

As I shared my heart with Him in prayer I felt a peace that can only come from my Creator and the thought came to my head...

The best is yet to come....

Jarryd and I have been going through a difficult season with Liv over the last year, dealing with her having some fears, anxieties, and lots of sleepless nights. My exhaustion and frustration from this season has pushed me to my knees begging God for encouragement. For me to not wish this season away but rather to be able to slow down and see it for what it is... a season that is fleeting... here today and gone tomorrow. A season that He can and IS using in my ongoing sanctification.

I know one day I will miss it and I will not remember all the hard. Over the past couple of months God has been reminding me of what immensely invaluable gifts my children are. He has been granting me patience and given me a deeper joy and love for my kids amidst any difficulty the day might bring.

Even though I had been seeing this heart change for a while now I was not prepared for the culmination of His answer to my prayers to be in the middle of Target today... but hey... He knows I'm always there ;)

Mommas of littles... this season is unbelievably demanding but so very short. Take it one day at a time, bathe your family in prayer, and soak up every second that you can.

The days are long but the years are short.

And anything that pushes you to run to God for help is worth it's weight in gold.

Now somebody bring me a cupcake and a hug! ;)

Nothing could prepare me for the emotional Mommy Meltdown that just took place in the middle of the little girl's section at Tar...

at 9/16/2013

at 8/13/2013

Dear sweet Liv Monroe,

I decided to start writing you letters for you to be able to read one day and be reminded of how loved and special you are to me. I also want to offer some words of wisdom that I pray you take to heart along the way.

Words cannot describe how in love I am with you. These past 17.5 months have been filled with more joy than I can stand! There have been so many moments in our time together where you will do something so charming and adorable that I am moved to tears and am overwhelmed with praise to God for allowing me to be your mommy. I prayed for you for years before you made your debut on this earth and I will never stop praying for you as long as I am on it. You have challenged me in so many ways and make me want to be a better person. I often pray for God to teach me how to be a good mommy to you because I feel clueless at times. However, as hard as being a parent can be, my love I have for you makes all the sacrifices so much easier.

Since you came into my life, my perspective of God and how He views me has been magnified and made clearer. I now see just how much He loves me, how there is NEVER anything that I could do on this earth to make Him stop loving me, how He wants to bless me abundantly, and discipline me only because He loves me and wants what's best for me. I never fully grasped all of those truths until I had you... because that is EXACTLY how I feel about you.

I'm sure every parent thinks this of their own child, but I have no doubt that the Lord has created you to do BIG things in this world. Your personality is too big for your body at times and you are absolutely fearless... something that scares your daddy and I constantly but I envy that in you the most. I know that there have been so many times in my own life where fear has kept me from being obedient to God and trusting Him enough to get out of my comfort zone. But I know you my sweet girl, will probably dive head first into any mission that the Lord leads you on, not fearing the dangers or the dark world we live in. Never lose that. God did not put us on this earth to live a safe, comfortable life. We are to live for His glory and make His name known to the ends of the earth. And if you have a willing Spirit, He will use you in miraculous ways and take you on the most beautiful adventures... those experiences will get you even more of Jesus and there is nothing sweeter than that.

Something that is also very evident about you, is that your beauty is captivating. I think this scares your daddy the most. ;) I probably hear him say "NO BOYS!" on a daily basis... and you're not even 2 years old! No matter how gorgeous your external beauty might be, never lose sight of what true beauty is... "beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30. Abide in the Lord and He will abide in you... there is nothing more radiant or beautiful than that.

I'll save the "NO BOYS!" talks for later letters.

I cannot wait to see the amazing woman that you will become. The world is a better place because you're in it... I'm just so thankful that I get to be a part of your life.

With all my love,